Sharon Stone - S = Me

Amazon's Creepy Cross-Promoting

2008-07-24T11:01:00.002-04:00

Got an email from Amazon today suggesting a DVD based on other DVDs I own or have rated. Anyone else think this is eerily appropriate? (Click on picture to enlarge.)

Separated at Birth, Again

2007-11-24T13:24:00.001-05:00

A Gamorrean Guard from "Return of the Jedi" and Perez Hilton

Separated At Birth

2007-11-24T13:18:00.000-05:00

Tweedledee & Tweedledum from Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" and Perez Hilton

Separated At Birth

2007-10-20T11:28:00.000-04:00

Spiderman director Sam Raimi and Katherine Heigl's main gay, T. R. Knight

Separated At Birth

2007-10-13T11:41:00.000-04:00

Kylie Minogue's marketing for her new album, and cheesy 80's throwbacks Scandal and Patrick Nagel.

Gimme Earplugs and A Blindfold

2007-10-05T13:28:00.000-04:00

Britney's new video for "Gimme More" is paving a glorious path to the wonderful world of Rock Bottom. It makes "Showgirls" look like "Gone With The Wind". Enjoy.. or something.

Ding Dong

2007-05-15T17:02:00.000-04:00

I wonder what he did to piss God off.

Separated at Birth?

2007-03-27T10:36:00.000-04:00

Gossip peddler Mario Lavandeira (aka Perez Hilton)
Actress Mary Jo Catlett (aka Pearl, "Diff'rent Strokes")
Carol Burnett's Animated Housekeeper

Madonna H&M Ad

2007-03-17T12:36:00.000-04:00

Menstruation Makes A Marriage

2006-11-06T11:02:00.000-05:00

From Ted Haggard's megachurch.

This Is Where My Forehead Would Be If I Had One

2006-10-06T11:23:00.000-04:00

Oops! Someone Forgot To Be Creative!

2006-07-30T15:14:00.000-04:00

Oh, just think of all the interesting titles we'd have if the geniuses behind "Snakes On A Plane" had been involved in some of your favorite films:

"Shark On A Beach"

"Hostages In A Building"

"Head Of A Mafia Family"

"Boy On A Spaceship"

"Diva On A Plantation"

Better Living Through Chemistry Case No. 3,478

2006-05-28T19:13:00.000-04:00

Barry Bonds surpasses Babe Ruth's 714 homerun record.

Barry Manilow's Wardrobe Is Officially Safe

2006-05-28T19:05:00.000-04:00

Character actor and 80's token bad guy Paul Gleason, best known as the principal of Shermer High School in The Breakfast Club, has died.

Ta-da! I'm a Moron!

2006-05-10T10:19:00.000-04:00

David Blaine failed in his attempt to break the world record for holding one's breath. I say he's a quitter.

Coming This Fall!

2006-04-30T11:02:00.000-04:00

Emmy-winning-lesbian-comedienne-talk-show-host Smack Down!

More sensible shoes than you can shake a stick at!

They Just Keep Dropping!

2006-04-25T16:06:00.000-04:00

"Look kids! Big Ben and Parliament!"

2006-04-13T10:01:00.000-04:00

Light(er) blogging for the next 10 days as I'm off to the UK today for 10 days to meet and spend Easter with the future in-laws. Lunch at Harvey Nicks, Pats?

Three Days

2006-04-13T09:58:00.000-04:00

That's how long Tom Cruise says it takes him to get a heroin addict clean through Scientology's detox methods.

"I Think You Need A Real Friend"

2006-04-08T18:13:00.000-04:00

Detroit Sold For Scrap Metal

2006-04-08T18:02:00.000-04:00

Finally, Detroit will be put to good use. I just wish I had been at the auction to grab some keepsakes. One lucky bastard, Al Ranneke, an Allegheny, PA scrap peddler, got the Rennaisance Center for $4,000. Money quote:

"I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus."

"This Has Become Much Ado About Hairdo"

2006-04-06T07:29:00.000-04:00

"You're All Doomed!"

2006-04-04T07:31:00.000-04:00

The small town of Crystal Lake, IL has its panties in a bunch over the potential Gay Games rowing event that may take place there. Honestly, what can we expect from a backwater hick town that would summer after summer repeatedly allow idiotic young straight people to attempt to re-open a cursed children's summer camp only to end up hacked to bits? No one spoke up at all those city council meetings?

An American Revolution Indeed

2006-04-03T17:12:00.000-04:00

The geniuses at GM teamed with The Apprentice and decided to allow anyone with an internet connection to use their marketing assets to make their own customized Chevy Tahoe commercials as a promotional contest. Of course, no one could possibly not like a Chevy Tahoe, right? Apparently they forgot about all those tree-hugging hippies who care about crazy things like global warming, driver safety, and oil dependency. Oopsie.

Dance And Sing, Get Up And Spend A Bundle

2006-04-03T17:03:00.000-04:00

Guess who just announced these tour dates?

North America:

May 21 Los Angeles Forum
May 27 Las Vegas MGM Grand Garden Arena
May 30 San Jose HP Pavilion
June 5 Fresno Save Mart Center
June 8 Phoenix Glendale Arena
June 14 Chicago United Center
June 21 Montreal Bell Centre
June 25 Hartford Civic Centre
June 28 New York Madison Square Garden
June 29 New York Madison Square Garden
July 06 Boston TD Bank Garden
July 12 Philadelphia Wachovia Center
July 16 Atlantic City Boardwalk Hall
July 22 Miami AmericanAirlines Arena

Europe:

July 30 Cardiff Millennium Stadium
Aug. 1 London Wembley Arena
Aug. 3 London Wembley Arena
Aug. 6 Rome Olympic Stadium
Aug. 20 Dusseldorf LTU Arena
Aug. 22 Hannover Niedersachsen
Aug. 24 Horsens (Denmark) Forum Horsens Outdoor
Aug. 27 Paris Bercy Stadium
Aug. 28 Paris Bercy Stadium
Sept. 3 Amsterdam Arena

-Additional dates forthcoming-

Life Imitates Art - Part I

2006-03-28T16:01:00.000-05:00

Boy gets trapped in toy crane machine.
vs.
Toy gets trapped in toy crane machine.

Life Imitates Art - Part II

2006-03-28T14:28:00.000-05:00

Dork spends his spring break locked in Walmart with Subway.
vs.
Dork spends nightshift locked in Target with Jennifer Connolly.

The End Approaches

2006-03-27T17:49:00.000-05:00

"How many minutes of fame do you have left, Senator?"

What A Way To Make A Living

2006-03-26T22:12:00.000-05:00

One of my earliest movie-going memories is that of my mother taking me to the theater in Livonia Mall on 7 Mile Road in Livonia, MI. I was 5 years old in 1980 when we went and saw what is still in my opinion one of the best comedies ever put on film - "9 to 5". Why my mother thought a 5 year-old boy would be interested in a film about 3 corporate secretaries who almost will into being their fantasies about killing their chauvinist pig boss is still a mystery to me, but I'm forever indebted. What better movie for a young homo to begin a lifelong love affair with celluloid?

Now, new to DVD on April 4, 2006, the "Sexist, Egotistical, Lying, Hypocritcal Bigot Edition" pays proper tribute to a film that not only holds up amazingly well despite the obvious advances in the world of corporate technology (so that's what an office would look like with no cubicles!), but also, for many, revealed the ugly reality of what it meant to be a woman in the male-dominated corporate America of the early 80s. The film has never looked better, and is now graced with a running commentary by all four leads - Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Dabney Coleman. Other extras include a fun 25 year anniversary featurette, "9 @ 25", in which the cast reminisce and reveal behind-the-scenes trivia (the Maui Wowee was actually dried lettuce, but still gave Dolly the munchies), a tribute to director Colin Higgins, 10 deleted scenes (understandably so), a gag reel, the original trailer, and a "9 to 5" karaoke singalong (because you know you want to).

So the next time you're feeling overworked, underappreciated or underpaid, pour yourself a cup of ambition, throw this gem in your DVD player and fantasize about what you would like to do to your boss the next time he or she fails to take notice of your efforts. Or at the very least, take comfort in the fact that you don't run the risk of losing your hearing from using your office Xerox machine.

Broke Actor Mountain

2006-03-25T15:40:00.000-05:00

Actor Randy Quaid is suing the producers of "Brokeback Mountain" for $10m claiming misrepresentation. Apparently, Quaid contends that the producers hired him inexpensively by telling him that "Brokeback" was a low-budget, art-house film. Money quote:

"Yet from day one, defendants fully intended that the film would not be made on a low budget, would be given a worldwide release, and would be supported as the studio picture it always was secretly intended to be," the lawsuit says.

Quaid agreed to waive his usual seven-figure fee and share of gross profits in favor of a much smaller payment, the lawsuit claims, although it doesn't say how much he was paid.

Does anyone else have a hard time believing that Randy Quaid commands a usual seven-figure fee and share of gross profits? If you don't, try renting this straight-to-video gem he made just 2 short years before "Brokeback":

Desperate Game Designers

2006-03-24T21:12:00.000-05:00

Finally, all you "Grand Theft Auto" and "Halo" gamers will be able to immerse yourself in the drama and scandal on Wisteria Lane! "Desperate Housewives" the video game is on its way!

Personally, I'll only be interested when someone creates a patch that allows me to watch James Denton and Richard Burgi get busy. (Jesse Metcalf can only join in if he stops plucking his goddamned eyebrows.)

Exclusive first look at game controller options!

To Nanny: "You're Hired"

2006-03-21T14:14:00.000-05:00

The Donald has a new son, a gorgeous wife 24 years younger, more money than God's parents, a lush, full head of hair... What doesn't he have? Besides a stylist.

The Return of Chef

2006-03-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

There just may be more salty chocolate balls yet - tomorrow night sees "The Return of Chef" to South Park. It's still a mystery who will be voicing the character, but I vote for Barry White.

Please Don't Eat the Daisies

2006-03-21T12:59:00.000-05:00

A 66 year old man shot and killed his 15 year old neighbor for walking across his lawn. Seriously.

Left Woman Walking (Fat Man Directing)

2006-03-19T12:41:00.000-05:00

Susan Sarandon is about to fulfill her "Team America" prophecy as she is in talks with Cindy Sheehan to star in a biopic of the eerily smiling, war-protesting mother directed by none other than Michael Moore.

South Park: Smaller, Shorter, Cut

2006-03-16T15:24:00.000-05:00

Hollywood Interrupted has the scoop on the censorship of Comedy Central's scheduled repeat showing last night of the scathing South Park Scientology episode, "Trapped In The Closet". Apparently, the loonier half of TomKat threatened to cancel all publicity for "Mission: Impossible 3" unless Paramount's parent company Viacom forced Comedy Central to pull the episode. View the full episode at the link above, and repeat it as many times as you want. Season 10 starts in 6 days!

Hat tip: Sully

Separated At Birth?

2006-03-16T15:20:00.000-05:00

Josh Hartnett is in the latest Vman. Who knew that if you put him in sloppy drag, you'd get Leo Dicaprio?

"Hello? Hey gurl! I'm in a movie..."

2006-03-16T12:49:00.000-05:00

Movie theater owners are considering asking the FCC to allow them to use cell phone jammers in movie theaters to help increase flagging attendance. Please, God, let it happen.

Sweet Kiss-off

2006-03-16T12:30:00.000-05:00

I now have more respect for Jessica Simpson. Well, I now have some respect for Jessica Simpson. The Pizza Hut spokesjiggler declined to meet with the President on Thursday when she'll be in town to lobby on behalf of Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities. Money quote:

"It just feels wrong," one Simpson insider told Reuters on Wednesday, adding that the actress keeps her political views private. "She would love to meet the president and talk about Operation Smile ... but she can't do it at a fund-raiser for the Republican Party."

Atta girl! It's almost enough to make one forget about her little sister. And "The Dukes of Hazzard". And "Newlyweds". Almost.

Help Mother Earth - Recycle!

2006-03-15T17:09:00.000-05:00

Every few years, a movie comes along that forces everyone to stop for a moment, take a breath, and think to themselves, "Wow, Hollywood really is out of ideas."

After the wild success* of "colorizing"** a film version of the TV classic "The Honeymooners", the geniuses running Hollywood*** have greenlit a film version of the TV classic "Welcome Back, Kotter" starring Ice Cube. That is, as soon as he is finished making "Are We Done Yet?" - sequel to "Are We There Yet?", remake of "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dreamhouse".

*If by success, you mean a $25m budgeted film that grossed $13m worldwide.
**The very idea having been ripped from the first season of "In Living Color", which saw Jim Carrey's "Ted Turner's Very Colorized Classics" re-imagining "Casablanca" starring Billy Dee Williams and Stevie Wonder.
***If by genius, you mean the director that gave us Rob Schneider's "Hot Chick".

"This is Pot calling Kettle.. Come in, Kettle.. Over.."

2006-03-14T12:20:00.001-05:00

Michael Douglas blasts Hollywood marriages in the latest British GQ. After mocking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship, he takes a shot at Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney's 4 month matrimony as well. Isn't receiving marriage critcism from Michael Douglas a bit like getting war management pointers from Donald Rumsfeld?

Read My Lips

2006-03-14T12:06:00.000-05:00

The reigning Miss Deaf Texas was struck by a train and died. Apparently, she didn't hear the train coming.

No More Salty Chocolate Balls

2006-03-13T19:45:00.000-05:00

Isaac Hayes has quit South Park, where he has voiced the character of Chef since 1997. Hayes cites "bigotry towards religious beliefs" as the reason for his departure. Money quote:

"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satireends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins."

9 seasons and a full-length feature film chock full of tasteless jokes poking fun at Jews, Christians, God, Satan (and his gay lover Saddam), Heaven, Hell, "The Passion of the Christ", and Mormons, and he quits now because making fun of the Church of Scientology has somehow, in his mind, crossed a line? As Chef might say: "Go fudge yourself."

Bald Is Beautiful

2006-03-13T13:33:00.000-05:00

My cousin Emily goes bald this time every year. Chances are, there are people doing the same thing right in your area. Find out and donate.

Europe's Most Requested Plumber

2006-03-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

As you read this, Homer Simpson is booking a ticket to Norway.

On Your Mark.. Get Set.. Limp!

2006-03-13T12:51:00.000-05:00

Dogged by dismal approval ratings, President Bush is starting to set more realistic goals.

Separated At Birth?

2006-03-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

Bonus points if you can tell me who said which quote:

"Space offers extraordinary potential for commerce and adventure, for new innovations and new tests of will."
"I feel obliged to point out that the environmental anomalies may have stimulated certain rebellious instincts common to youth, which could affect everyone's judgment... Except mine of course."

The Pharmacy America Trusts®

2006-03-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

That's the slogan for Walgreen's, the #1 drugstore chain in the country. They operate in 46 states and Puerto Rico, and, according to Wikipedia, are currently the second largest users of satellites behind the US government. That's to ensure their customers that each and every one of their 5,100 stores will be able to access their individual prescription information stored in the national database... which makes this story that much more disconcerting.

However, my dismay quickly turned into giggles when I saw how appropo the advert that happened to come up in the middle of the article's page was-

Perhaps a subliminal message to the pharmacists at the Walgreens in Palm Beach?

King For A Day

2006-03-07T14:00:00.000-05:00

We're on the verge of seeing lesbians running for president, and people are getting their panties in a bunch over this?

"Yanni bail money?"

2006-03-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

Musician Yanni was arrested on a domestic battery charge. (I know. Now envision Enya on a bender.)

Oscars (or Ocsars in Ebonics)

2006-03-07T10:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, I needed a day to absorb the Oscars. Now that it's all sunk in, let's get to it-

The Red Carpet: While the expected classic beauties with impeccable taste glided into the Kodak theater Sunday evening (read Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman, Keira Knightley, Hilary Swank), it's always more fun to pick on the stars who remind us that no matter how much money you make, you can't buy good taste:

The usually flawless Charlize Theron (2004 orange bottle tan aside) was wrapped in what looked like several oversized cummerbuns, with one balled up and perched on her left shoulder.

Felicity Huffman was apparently so intent on making her gender unambiguous that she inadvertently put her dress on backwards.

Perhaps Helena Bonham Carter's matching shoes and purse were hidden in her hair?

Lauren Hutton: Why? But more importantly, why?

Please contact Zandra Rhodes if you have any available tables at your local art fair this year.

Note to Gary Busey - The Academy Awards is not a venue at which you should be vying for the role of Jason Voorhees in the upcoming prequel to Friday the 13th.

Mommie Queerest

2006-03-06T22:27:00.000-05:00

Look out, homos! Madonna's daughter has gaydar!

Also: outtakes from Madge's interview in the latest issue of Out.

Forecast: Ignunt

2006-03-04T17:38:00.000-05:00

Does Al Roker assume anyone involved in culinary arts must be gay? One might think so after this past Wednesday's benefit for the Careers Through Culinary Arts Program honoring chef Thomas Keller. "He was very nice, spoke briefly, and then told the crowd he would let them get back to their 'Brokeback moment,'" said an unnamed guest. "No one had any idea what he meant. It was very weird."

File Under: "Pointless Sequels"*

2006-03-03T13:32:00.000-05:00

*Cross-reference with "Sequels made after the window of public interest had been closed, locked, rusted shut and painted over".

Sanitized Is The New Subversive

2006-03-03T12:36:00.000-05:00

"Arthur and the Minimoys", the new computer animated feature from director Luc Besson ("La Femme Nikita", "The 5th Element") based on a French children's book, will feature the voice talents of Madonna, David Bowie and Snoop Dogg.

Next thing you know, Ice Cube will be starring in a cutesy family film. Oh, wait... Make that a sequel.

Shameless

2006-03-03T11:24:00.000-05:00

Jet Li's new movie "Rogue" is currently in pre-production. Nothing particularly interesting there, but it will co-star Jason Statham, and any excuse to post his picture is more than worth it.

I See Rich People

2006-03-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder how a $70 million movie budget is divvied up? The Smoking Gun has the goods on M. Night Shyamalan's blockbuster "The Sixth Sense", and every formulaic film he's made since. Money Quote:

The $70.2 million budget for "Signs" was dominated by the whopping $25 million Mel Gibson was paid for his role... In addition, the actor's entourage expenses totaled nearly $1 million, with $300,000 of that figure earmarked for the star's "jet allowance" and another $57,000 for a "chiropractor/masseuse." Gibson also received in excess of $1000 a day in per diem payments (the average daily "walking around" money provided for other on-location employees was $65).

Independent Study

2006-03-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

To learn more about masturbation, visit your local library... or tilt your head.

Reject Runway

2006-03-01T14:02:00.000-05:00

Speaking of Mugatu, is it just me, or does anyone else who watches this season's Project Runway have the comical fortune of not being able to see Santino Rice without being reminded of Prahka Lasa, the swami from the 1984 film "All of Me"?

Next Stop: Shady Pines

2006-03-01T13:22:00.000-05:00

I'm now convinced that the fashion industry is the only industry in which players can not only continue to perform while sliding into senility, they can thrive. Some selections from Vivienne Westwood's latest collection - anyone else having flashback's to Zoolander's "Derelict" line by Mugatu?:

"Of course these are horns. Why do you ask?"

"This Ain't Prada..."

2006-02-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

It sure ain't. Fresh on the heels of calling hefty(?) actress Mischa Barton of Fox's The OC a "fat pig", sophisticate extraordinaire Nicky Hilton unveiled her second line of clothing this past week, imaginatively named "Nicky Hilton Beverly Hills". The line is comprised of "clothes my friends and I could wear," Hilton said. Everything in the collection comes in three sizes: Calista, Lara Flynn, and Small.

[Adam's] Apple For The Teacher

2006-02-28T12:17:00.000-05:00

All South Park Mr./Mrs. Garrison jokes aside, this story is pretty heartening.

Don't Look Now, There's A Monkey On Your Back

2006-02-26T19:34:00.000-05:00

Because at this point, a "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" joke would just be too obvious.

No Deposit, [Definitely] No Return

2006-02-26T18:43:00.000-05:00

We lost two gems over the weekend, folks. Don Knotts, 81, died Friday night of pulmonary and respiratory complications (Mr. Furley, we hardly knew you), while Darren McGavin, 83, succumbed the following day due to natural causes (no, he didn't shoot his eye out). Considering these losses superstitiously occur in triplicate, the casts of The Shaggy D.A. and The Cat From Outer Space should be watching their collective backs this week.

Hooked on Phonics

2006-02-26T17:47:00.000-05:00

I've received my first piece of feedback regarding my new blog! Reader Justin writes:

this Blog - B (for boring) = log. as in sawing logs...

I'm sure once I figure out whether this is a compliment or an insult, I will be appropriately flattered or offended. Until then, as a tribute to Justin's captivation for linguistic arithmetic, I will be playing the Motels' "Take The L" and "Only The Lonely" for the next 6 or 7 minutes.

Seventeen Seconds

2006-02-26T16:54:00.000-05:00

Starting from 4:01:46 in this video's timecode, that's the length of time it takes for this video to go from hysterically funny to unbelievably cruel.

"Protect Your Banana!"

2006-02-24T13:22:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that at this very moment the Vatican is hard at work on an official document denouncing the Banana Guard as ineffective, and that abstaining from inserting bananas into your lunch bag is still the best defense against bruised bananas.

Hat tip: Freddy

Madonna Illustrator Bashed

2006-02-22T20:03:00.000-05:00

Jeffrey Fulvimari, fashion and children's book illustrator, and a friend were attacked early Sunday morning while leaving the club Crobar in NYC. Fulvimari illustrated The English Roses, Madonna's first book for children.

Sexist Injustice

2006-02-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

Tom Ford is beautiful, but he's overdressed.

Job Openings

2006-02-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

There will be at least 8 available positions at the ConAgra ham processing plant in Lincoln, Nebraska. Apply today!

Help! Mom! Republicans Are Publishing More "Children's" Books!

2006-02-21T21:24:00.001-05:00

From the brainwashers that brought us "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!", we get this drivel:

I was lucky enough to write the first review on Amazon today, which was promptly followed by right-wing knee-jerk comments that say nothing about the book itself. You can read my full review here.

The Future of Alternative Power

2006-02-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

What a bunch of dog shit.

I Think Weir's Alone Now

2006-02-18T18:58:00.000-05:00

I've found that with almost every scenario in life, there is always a pertinent bit of wisdom to be found in the film Working Girl. Take heed, young Weir: "You want to be taken seriously, you need serious hair." And that goes for that poor excuse for a skating outfit, as well. The "Hey, look what my pet boa constrictor just shed" look, contrary to what you may believe, was never in.

"We Are Sorry"

2006-02-16T16:08:00.000-05:00

A simple, subdued and beautiful apology from Arab youth to Norway and Denmark. Money quote:

We will note that we find the cartoons to be incendiary, insulting and very abrasive... Yet, it would be wrong to take away their freedom of expression, regardless of how horrid their material is. We affirm our belief in freedom of expression and people’s right to express whatever opinions they hold.

From the keyboards of babes...

Beauty Call

2006-02-16T13:10:00.000-05:00

My baby is in a pageant! Eddy, the newest addition to our household, is a beagle mutt we rescued from the DC Humane Society. You can read her story at the pageant, and you can visit her Dogster profile. It's perfectly fine if she doesn't win... let her (much too) young opponent Jonbenet Truman have the glory. Eddy's already won the biggest lottery by securing a place in our hearts... and kitchen... and bed... you get the picture.

Here she is bravely protecting us from "The People in the Bathroom Mirror".

"She's Had Some Work Done..."

2006-02-16T12:44:00.000-05:00

It was revealed today that Madonna was recently treated for a hernia. "She had a minor procedure for a hernia and is absolutely fine now," said her spokeswoman. It is unknown why Madonna decided to wait to release this information to the press. A flurry of rumors have surfaced, including: she was drunk; she was having an affair; she wanted to distract the media from the NSA spying program, the Katrina report, and the newly released Abu Ghraib photos.

Message To Graffiti "Artists"

2006-02-15T17:52:00.000-05:00

OS With A View

2006-02-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

The next version of Windows is coming. From what I can assess, I'm not that impressed. It seems as if anyone wishing to upgrade their OS will probably have to upgrade their hardware as well if they want to take advantage of every update Windows Vista has to offer. Thanks, but no thanks.

"Thursday the 12th"?

2006-02-14T15:53:00.000-05:00

Now, word is that Michael Bay is looking to make a prequel to the first "Friday the 13th", as opposed to earlier reports saying that he would produce a remake of the first film in the franchise. A much smarter move in my opinion as there has been almost no backstory on Jason given to audiences that hasn't been hearsay. Not to mention the fact that the first 'Friday the 13th" unfolded as a whodunit, keeping the identity of the killer a secret until the last few minutes of the story. Knowing the killer's identity from the start would render a remake pointless and boring... not unlike the last 6 or 7 sequels.

Ki-ki-ki... Ma-ma-ma...

2006-02-14T15:36:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you run out of ideas for sequels? You remake the first one.

Eureka!

2006-02-14T13:16:00.000-05:00

As I was thinking about Islamic fundamentalism in the shower today, as one does, it dawned on me exactly why Islamists have never learned to have a sense of humor - because Groucho Marx glasses - one of the most distinctly American pieces of comedy iconography - look like plain eyeglasses on them.

Looking For A Sense Of Humor In The Muslim World

2006-02-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

Check out this E! Online review of Albert Brooks' latest film "Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World". Money quote (emphasis added):

While he's still funny in that nebbishy, self-deprecating way of his, and some chuckles pop up about government bureaucracy and outsourcing, Brooks avoids making any biting jokes or comments about where he is, who he's with or why he's there. While he's respectful of the local culture, he tiptoes around the touchy subjects, acting as if nobody else can take a joke about themselves.

Because if we've learned anything from February 2006, it's that Muslims can take a joke. Hmm... Include a few lighthearted jabs at Muhammed and gender inequality to make this film a bit funnier, or live to make Finding Nemo 2? Decisions, decisions.

Cheeky outfit

2006-02-14T11:48:00.000-05:00

Speedskater Joey Cheek gets mad props for not only bringing home the gold in the Mens 500m, but doing so in Wonder Woman's diving suit.

Superbulge superfaked

2006-02-14T11:15:00.000-05:00

For those of you perverts gawking daily at www.bulgereport.com, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but their credibility now ranks among the likes of Paris Hilton and the president*. It is blazingly apparent when comparing these photos (before and after) that bulgereport has photoshopped (badly) a larger codpiece onto Brandon Routh just to underscore the point of this article. Look out, Dan Rather - Bulgegate is here.

*I know, I know. When did the president ever have credibility?

Saddam Goes On Hunger Strike - World Yawns

2006-02-14T10:42:00.000-05:00

Public Service Announcement

2006-02-13T15:19:00.000-05:00

How to spot a pedophile.

Just when you thought it was safe...

2006-02-13T13:07:00.000-05:00

Shark horror writer-turned-shark advocate Peter Benchley died Saturday night at 65.
Enjoy this in his honor.

Ta-DA

2006-02-12T17:38:00.000-05:00

Since everyone I know around here has a blog, I figured I may as well start my own instead of sending shit to other people to post on theirs. So here it is. Wee.